Wrapping things up

I had no idea I'd left this for over two months. I knew it was well overdue for an update, but I guess I just didn't feel as if I really had anything of value to say.

My year abroad is coming to a close now, and I don't feel that I can sum up how I feel about it quite yet. Usually if someone asks, my standard response is a shrug and no more than "alright." It's not that I'm bitter, at least, most of the time, it's just that if I look back on what I've done this year, something feels lacking.

If I could focus the root problem of why things didn't go quite as planned, I'd say it's to do with the fact that I didn't get a well paying part time job, or even a marginally decent paying job. I didn't get a scholarship. Due to Facebook and such, it was quite easy to see what everyone else was doing. Those who did receive a scholarship tended to go to Disneyland several times at once, frequently socialised, and went travelling across Japan, and in some cases to other countries. It genuinely bugs me that money was such an issue this year. I've never been especially good at Japanese, my marks have always been in the lower tier, which makes it understandable that I wouldn't be eligible for a scholarship or anything of the sort. I just feel that my progress has been more stunted by not being able to really get involved in any social groups, and more often than not, debate whether I can really afford a new grammar or kanji book.

That is, in fact, what I've spent most of this year doing. Staying in my room, and studying. Granted, it will be useful for my degree, but it doesn't feel as if that was how this year was supposed to go. Before I went, some seniors told me that "it's the best year of your life", but it really doesn't seem that way. I feel I could get as beneficial an experience from staying in England and studying there instead.

But, I don't want to just harp on and on and on about how much this year feels like a missed oppurtunity, because there have been some good things that came out of it. I do feel as if I have developed my Japanese, and social skills, and I guess "life skills", if those really count for much. I've got a good idea who my friends are, who I can count on, and I did have the pleasure of making some new friends, which will hopefully be lasting ones. I was able to go to a few events and places, and meet a couple of celebrities, albeit in very niche circles.

I know from the start, Sheffield told us that we should not compare our year abroad to others, that it is "our year", but that doesn't help a slight odd taste when some people had clear advantages over others, or completely different experiences. I'm not only speaking about myself there either, I know I had it better than some, which is why it feels bad that I'm complaining, but I just have to vent that kind of thing while it's still fresh in my mind.

One thing I do know, is that this isn't the end. I've reinvigorated my interest in the language, I have some new goals that are not just limited to what Sheffield has to offer me, and I do plan to return to Japan. If I look at those problems I've just listed, I can't blame "Japan", as some nonspecific entity for them all. A lot of them were to do with my university. I know also I should blame myself for a lot of that, as I let myself believe certain things and have certain expectations.

It'll be a long time before the benefits of this year become truly apparent I think, but I'll be sure to try and get at least one last, final post on here before I'm back in England.

The times, they are a changin'

This week, I bought some ground coffee instead of instant by mistake. Lacking a filter, I learnt that you can use a sock instead. It wasn't that bad.

I think this sums up where things stand with me at the moment.

As usual, it's been a while since my last visit. My girlfriend has been and gone, I've got back into the regular routine of lectures and... that's probably about it really. I'll go into detail as I go along until things are up to date again.

Over a month ago now, Monika came to stay in Tokyo for about two and a half weeks. It's not exactly fresh in my memory, but we spent a large amount of that time exploring Tokyo, and I got to have an idea of what it's like to be a tourist here. Needless to say, I'm now of the mindset that Tokyo is best experienced as one. I think the main places I went to that were new to me were Ueno, Odaiba and Disney Land. She had a huge list of places to visit, and I think we did less than half of that, entirely due to time and money limits. It was a busy few weeks, but it was easily one of the highlights. There's not a great deal to say about it outside of the photos that can be seen on my Facebook, I guess.

Classes have been a bit different for me now. I've decided to focus more on preparing for JLPT tests, and as the classes at Hosei do not count towards my grade at Sheffield in any sense, I decided to drop the ones that aren't language. While this does mean I'm getting an E grade, it still means I can pass the year, and not feel like I'm putting a lot of effort into something that doesn't count for anything. In a sense I have more free time, but that time is being put into studying Japanese, so not a great deal has changed there.

I also made my debut on Japanese TV recently. It wasn't anything particulary outstanding, merely impressions foreigners have of Japan, and I was limited to talking about food for the most part, but it was an interesting experience. It was exactly scripted, but it was very directed, with a lot of re-takes and prompts to answer in a certain fashion. What's annoying is that I don't think I'm going to be able to see the show, as I don't have access to a TV at the time the show is broadcasted, what with being in the dorm.

Outside of that, the only real change has been that I've come to the realisation that Japan isn't really for me. I know that I enjoy learning, using and improving my Japanese, but living in this country doesn't suit me. I'd still consider visiting, and maybe applying for the JET programme, as that would entail not being in Tokyo, which I feel might be a major contributing factor to this feeling, but yeah. Not really something I expected to feel this year.

Not sure when I'll update next, doing very little outside of studying from now on.

Spring

At long last, Spring seems to have arrived. It's been almost too cold as of late, which leads me to think that I've almost certainly acclimatised by now, but the comfort of that doesn't really give me much in the way of actual comfort. The lack of insulation in Japan hasn't made it easy at all. I also kinda feel as if I have hayfever at the moment, which isn't ideal!

Trees are starting to bloom in Tokyo, and I've seen a number of sakura trees that have begun blossoming. I've seen a few photos from around Kyoto and they're very much in bloom at the moment, so that should gradually develop over the coming weeks. Almost perfect timing for the missus visiting in a matter of days.

With the season changing, and a new term beginning very soon, some new transfer students have begun to arrive in the dorm. The first of whom arrived today, in fact, which is partly what sparked this update. Now, as of late, I've been speaking more and more to the dorm parents, either because I'm feeling more confident or just because I'm getting fed up of most of my daily vocabulary consisting of "thank you" or "that's okay". As such, that seems to have led them to think I'm alright at Japanese now, and they asked me to interpret for them upon the arrival of a rather nice fellow from China, who can speak more English than Japanese.

I've not really had much experience with interpreting so far, but the fact my understanding is stronger than my speaking helped with this, as I only had to relay information from one side really. By some standards, it's not much of an accomplishment, but by my own, I'm very pleased with it. It certainly paid off as well, as the dorm father bought dinner for me as thanks.

I also decided to weigh some of the books I'd bought while in Japan. Not the grammar books, as I'm not going to be sending them back any time soon, just the little novellas. Somehow, I've collected about five kilograms worth, which is reason enough for me to hold off buying anything like that for the time being. Especially as I've been strongly considering getting a thirty plus volume collection of a manga I'm fond of.

At least that'll help with budgeting.